What do you tell someone who is pregnant and contemplating an abortion? In this Little Lessons series, Bible teacher David Servant speaks with compassion and the truth of God’s Word to help guide those who find themselves in this situation. Learn more!
I’m Pregnant and Contemplating an Abortion. What Should I Do? (Part 1)
I’m pregnant and contemplating an abortion. What should I do?
Today we will take one Little Lesson and speak directly to women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy, and are contemplating an abortion, and giving my best advice. And so that’s what I’m about to attempt to do. First of all, let me say how much I sympathize with any woman who finds herself in such a predicament. Of course, we know that, everybody knows, it’s undeniable, that pregnancy is a trial, particularly in the final months of that time. My wife and I have had three kids and boy, my heart has gone out to my wife during all three pregnancies and not to mention the delivery of the baby.
Now, my wife had wonderful experiences by comparison to so many women because her labor and deliveries were so quick, but that’s not always the case, as we all know. And God bless women for bearing children. It is not the easiest thing in the world and I’ve often thought to myself that men who get women pregnant, particularly men who get women pregnant out of wedlock, as a part of their fair recompense they ought to duct tape bowling balls to the stomachs of those men for about three or four months, just to give them a small understanding of what they’re putting this woman through. And then of course, the labor and delivery is just kind of a precursor to what is to come after that baby’s born. Yeah, they are cute and they bring a lot of joy, but that’s the beginning of years and years of responsibility and devotion to that child.
And so many women have used those undeniable facts as justification to get an abortion, which is worse. To get an abortion and terminate this pregnancy, or to go through all that, ramifications which will go on for years, and years, and years, and even go so far as to say that this was the right thing to do or the loving thing to do. And I can actually understand to a degree how a woman could come up with that kind of justification. Having been guilty of coming up with justifications myself, not ever for an abortion, but for things that deep within your heart you know are wrong, but you’re facing a very difficult decision. So I’m just starting off by saying, great amount of sympathy. Any woman who’s considering an abortion is, not any woman, but most women are finding themselves in a difficult situation, very difficult situation.
Not one that I’m going to say though justifies getting an abortion. In any case, my advice then is to take responsibility for what has happened. Now, we as human beings are so apt to want to find somebody else to blame for our troubles and legitimately many times there are other people to blame, but we’re very apt to take no responsibility or blame for the consequences of our wrong decisions. So, yeah there was a guy involved, let’s say that you’re pregnant out of wedlock, there was a guy involved and so he bears part of the responsibility. It’s not just all your fault, but yet you were likely, unless you were raped, a willing participant and you also made a poor decision. Fundamentally the decision that you made that was wrong is that you gave your body to a man who didn’t deserve it.
You don’t want to give your body to any man who isn’t already committed to you till death do us part in a lifetime covenant of marriage. And the fact that, again if you’re pregnant out of wedlock, now speaking to those dear women, pregnant out of wedlock, that was the fundamental mistake that you made, and again, he’s to blame. He also shouldn’t be expecting any woman to give him her body to whom he is not committed in a lifelong covenant of marriage. Why? Well, there’s so many obvious reasons, but one of which of course, is that… Well, you’re experiencing it, you’re pregnant and that has ramifications for the rest of your life. Go through with having that baby then you have a responsibility to raise that child and so forth, and huge ramifications.
And so that is why God has so clearly said that fornication, that is sex outside of marriage, is wrong. It’s immoral, because God loves us he doesn’t want us facing these predicaments and these less than best situations in our lives where we actually have to contemplate terminating a pregnancy. God doesn’t want you to face that and so own up to this, okay? Just make a decision. I’m smarter now, I’m wiser now, and I’m not going to give any man my body who isn’t committed in a lifelong covenant. Of course, that doesn’t guarantee that it will be a lifelong thing because a lot of people get married and wind up divorced, but a person who is unwilling to even get married, you know there’s something wrong there, right? If they want your body, but they don’t want to marry you, stay far away.
And then if you do find a guy who’s willing to marry you, again that eliminates some of the risk, but not all the risk. And so I could give a couple of lessons on how to know if you can trust these guys who are willing to marry you, but who might bail out later on down the road. Okay. Again, this is a Little Lesson, not a long lesson. I would never encourage you to terminate your pregnancy, because that’s just a nice way of saying killing the life of another person who’s within you. And if you watched my previous two Little Lessons on abortion, and as we went through the logic of why abortion is wrong and immoral, then I’m just reaffirming that. That’s a horrible choice and it’s not one that ends your problem, then you have to live with the consequences of the knowledge of what you did for the rest of your life.
You’re a participant in the murder of your own child. Okay? And that’s not… According to Bible, that’s not just something that you’ll deal with the rest of your life it’s something that you could deal with after your life is over when you stand before God and give an account for your life. Okay? So this is serious stuff, so take responsibility, and then you have to… So don’t terminate your pregnancy, keep your child, bring your child to full term, let it be born, and then you have to make a decision whether or not what’s the right thing to do at that point in time. And for many women, the right decision would be to put their child up for adoption, because there are thousands and thousands of married couples who would love to have children, but can’t for some biological reason and they would love to raise your child.
And I get it, heartbreaking thing for a mother then to give up a child, there’s an instinctive desire to take responsibility. This is my child and to raise this child myself. So that’s a very hard decision, but again, you’ve put yourself in a place where you’re having to make these hard decisions. So just face up to it. That’s a great sign of personal growth and maturity when you can take responsibility and set off on a new course.
Now, in my next lesson, I’m going to talk about some even more fundamental things that are really the root stuff in all of this that will solve, not just this problem, but if you can fix that, you can solve a lot of problems. Okay. All right, and now if you’re pregnant in wedlock and you have an unwanted pregnancy, same advice. You’re married, you’re having a child, keep your child. Again, you would have the option of putting your child up for adoption as a brand new baby. As you and your husband would make a decision on that if it’s so difficult for you, but I think you’d want to keep that child, and raise that child, and enjoy all the blessings of raising a child. Okay. So don’t miss the next Little Lesson, because I actually have more to say that’s even, I think even more important and more fundamental. All right.
So thanks so much for joining me on this one, hope to see you next time. God bless you.
I’m Pregnant and Contemplating an Abortion. What Should I Do? (Part 2)
So, you’re pregnant, and it’s an unwanted pregnancy. Now, if it’s a wanted pregnancy, well, I’m as happy as I can be for you. And you’ve got a wonderful journey ahead of you, not without its challenges and difficulties, going through pregnancy, going through delivery, then raising a child, it’s a big, big, big job. And one for which we often feel unprepared and we kind of learn as we go on in uncharted territory.
But in any case, if you’re pregnant and, for example, out of wedlock, and you’re contemplating an abortion because of that, I’ve addressed that in the last Little Lesson, go back and watch that Little Lesson. And I tried to look at the fundamental root problem here. And I said, if you’re pregnant out of wedlock, a mistake that you made was you gave your body to a guy that wasn’t committed to you in a lifelong covenant of marriage. And so, make a decision that you’re going to not do that any longer.
And any man who wants your body without promising you a lifetime commitment, is a jerk. You heard it right from me. He doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve anything from you. He’s a selfish jerk. Run from that jerk. He’s just using you, he’s abusing you, he’s asking for something that he’s not willing to pay for. All right. So just run from those kinds of men. And you even take your chances with the men who will promise till death do us part, because a lot of them change their minds after they make their promise at some point down the road, but you got a better chance anyways if you can find a guy who’ll at least say, “I’ll marry you.” And will actually go through with the marriage.
And there’s lots of great guys out there, but you’ve got to be wise and take a little bit of… I’m looking for the right word. Respect yourself. Respect yourself. No man deserves your body unless he’s willing to commit to you in a lifetime covenant of marriage. All right? All right.
Now, I said last time I want to go even deeper into the fundamental problems here because, if you’re contemplating an abortion seriously, it would reveal, not only are you in a difficult situation, but that you need to do some self-examination overall and ask yourself some really, really pressing questions.
Now, I’m going to say this without, in any way, pointing the finger because I’ve been through this, as is everyone who’s ever been truly born again that is, you repented of all sin, not just like trying to say, “Well, I think I will do better next time in this one area.” No. You’re turning your back on anything and everything that God would want you to turn your back on. Again, His commandments are because of His love for us. He wants our lives to be enhanced with as much blessing as possible and obeying His commandments is the ticket to that. When God says, “Don’t commit adultery.” It’s not because He’s a celestial kill-joy, it’s because He loves us. I want you to have great marriages. I want you to have the best sex and it only happens in marriage.
Okay. So, God loves us. And so, I don’t want to be condemning at all because all of us who’ve been born again, have come to that place in our lives where we had to face up to the fundamental problem, and that was, “I’m not submitted to God.” And like the old Frank Sinatra song, “I did it my way.” That’s our whole problem, we’re doing it our way. We’re not submitted to the One who created us unless we get into so much trouble all the time. We face the natural consequences of being rebels against our Maker.
I’m looking into the camera lens right now, and that camera was designed by someone to do something like what we’re doing right now. Well, if I tried to use this camera to row a canoe or something, it wouldn’t be working so well, would it? Camera wasn’t made to row a canoe. You weren’t made to do things your way, you were made to love and serve and obey God.
So that’s the core problem for all of us, not just for those of you who are contemplating an abortion, that’s the problem with every one of us. And some of us make the big switcheroo that we’re so happy about, we wish everyone would make the big switcheroo. And that is, we admitted, “I’m a wretch, I’m a rebel. I’m a sinner against God, and I’m suffering because of it.” And we changed, fundamentally at our core. We said, “God, I surrender. I am no longer doing things my way. I’ll do things Your way. You made Jesus Christ the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, and so, I’m going to line up with that. Jesus becomes my King. Jesus becomes my Lord because He is the Son of God. And I believe that I’m going to have to stand before Him one day and give an account for my life.”
And here’s the thing, God’s fair, God’s just, He’s loving, He’s merciful, He’s patient, He’s kind, but His mercy and patience don’t last forever, they run out. Well, guess what? When we die, the Bible talks about, Jesus warned about, all the apostles warned about, we’re all going to have to stand in front of God and we’re going to reap what we’ve sown. We’re going to be repaid according to our deeds.
So, here’s the good news I have for you, you can escape getting what you deserve by repenting of your sins, believing in Jesus, and receiving the forgiveness that’s available from God by no other means than through Jesus. The alternative is to keep going your way, keep suffering all your miserable life, and then when you stand before God, hearing Him say, “Okay, let’s do a review of your life. And now I’m going to repay you exactly what you deserve.”
So if you’ve had an abortion and a baby has been dismembered in your womb, sucked by a suction tube, you’re going to experience that same thing in the afterlife. The same terror that your baby felt in the womb, you’re going to feel that same terror as some kind of big suction tube comes to you and rips you to pieces. And that’s just the beginning of the terrors. If we all get what we deserve, hell is it. If God repays people justly and fairly, they reap what they sow, people that get abortions, at some point in eternity, are going to be aborted.
I know that sounds absolutely terrible, and it is, but I’m saying it to try to motivate you to be motivated to do what I did. I’m going to escape the consequences of all those things that I have done that were wrong in my past, because I took God’s offer and not only did He forgive me, as He promised, He put His Holy Spirit in me, and now I just want to serve Him, and I want to tell other people about the blessings of serving Him and the same thing would happen to you. It’s absolutely wonderful, it’s the best thing. And if you miss out on this, you’re miss out on the best thing.
Okay. So, that’s my most fundamental advice if you’re contemplating an abortion. Ask yourself the more fundamental question, “Have I submitted my entire life, my entire being, to God? And do I believe in Jesus Christ?”
Until next time, may the Lord bless you.