When Paul arrived in Jerusalem, he was seized and incarcerated. Once again he received some spectacular guidance in the form of a vision of Jesus:

But on the night immediately following, the Lord stood at his [Paul’s] side and said, “Take courage; for as you have solemnly witnessed to My cause at Jerusalem, so you must witness at Rome also” (Acts. 23:11).

Notice that Jesus did not say, “Now Paul, what are you doing here? I tried to warn you not to come to Jerusalem!” No, Jesus actually confirmed the leading that Paul had perceived in his spirit months before. Paul was in the center of God’s purpose in Jerusalem in order to testify on behalf of Jesus. He would eventually proclaim Christ in Rome as well.

We must keep in mind that part of Paul’s original calling was to testify not only before Jews and Gentiles but also before kings (see Acts 9:15). In the course of Paul’s imprisonment in Jerusalem and later in Caesarea, he was given the opportunity to testify before Governor Felix, Porcius Festus, and King Agrippa, who was “almost persuaded” (Acts 26:28) to believe in Jesus. Finally, Paul was sent to Rome to testify before the Roman Emperor himself, Nero.

The next stop on Paul’s journey to Jerusalem was the port city of Caesarea:

And as we were staying there for some days, a certain prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. And coming to us, he took Paul’s belt and bound his own feet and hands, and said, “This is what the Holy Spirit says; ‘In this way the Jews at Jerusalem will bind the man who owns this belt and deliver him into the hands of the Gentiles'” (Acts 21:10-11).

Here is yet another example of the Holy Spirit testifying to Paul that “bonds and afflictions” awaited him in Jerusalem. But notice that Agabus didn’t say, “Therefore, thus says the Lord, ‘Do not go to Jerusalem!'” No, God was leading Paul to Jerusalem and was simply preparing him through Agabus’ prophecy for the troubles that awaited him there. Notice also that Agabus’ prophecy only confirmed what Paul already knew in his spirit months before. We should never be led by prophecy. If prophecy doesn’t confirm what we already know, we shouldn’t follow it.

Agabus’ prophecy is what we might consider to be “spectacular guidance,” because it went beyond just an inward impression within Paul’s spirit. When God grants “spectacular guidance,” such as a vision or hearing an audible voice, it is usually because God knows our way is not going to be easy. We will need the extra assurance that spectacular guidance brings. In Paul’s case, he was about to be nearly killed by a mob and spend several years in prison before his journey to Rome as a prisoner. Because of the spectacular guidance he received, however, he could maintain perfect peace through it all, knowing the outcome would be favorable.

If you don’t receive spectacular guidance you shouldn’t be concerned because, if you need it, God will see that you get it. We should, however, always strive to be sensitive to and be led by the inward witness.

John’s gospel records a number of Jesus’ promises concerning the Holy Spirit’s role in the life of believers. Let’s read a few of them:

And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you, and will be in you (John 14:16-17).

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you (John 14:26).

But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper shall not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you….I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, he will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He shall glorify Me; for He shall take of Mine, and shall disclose it to you. All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said, that He takes of Mine, and will disclose it to you (John 16:7, 12-15).

Jesus promised His disciples that the Holy Spirit would abide in them. He would also help them, teach them, guide them and show them things to come. As Christ’s disciples today, we have no reason to think the Holy Spirit would do any less for us.

Amazingly, Jesus told His disciples that it was to their advantage that He go away or else the Holy Spirit wouldn’t come! That indicated to them that their fellowship with the Holy Spirit could be just as intimate as if Jesus were physically present with them all the time. Otherwise it wouldn’t be to their advantage to have the Holy Spirit with them rather than Jesus. Through the Holy Spirit, Jesus is always with us and in us.

In what ways should we expect the Holy Spirit to lead us?

His very name, Holy Spirit, indicates that His primary role in leading us will be in leading us to be holy and obedient to God. So everything that pertains to holiness and the accomplishing of God’s will on earth is within the realm of the Holy Spirit’s guidance. He will lead us to obey all of Christ’s general commandments as well as in Christ’s specific commandments that pertain to the unique ministry God has called us to. So if you want to be led by the Spirit in regard to your specific ministry, you must also be led by the Spirit in general holiness. You can’t have one without the other. Too many ministers want the Holy Spirit to lead them into great ministry exploits and miracles, but don’t want to bother with the “smaller” aspects of general holiness. That is a great error. How did Jesus lead His disciples? Primarily by giving them general instructions in holiness. His specific leadings for their ministerial responsibilities were rare by comparison. So it is with the Holy Spirit who indwells us. So if you want to be led by the Spirit, you must first of all follow His leadings to be holy.

The apostle Paul wrote, “For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God” (Rom. 8:14). It is our being led by the Spirit that marks us as being among those who are God’s children. Thus all of God’s children are being led by the Spirit. It is up to us of course, as free moral agents, to obey the Spirit’s leadings.

All of this being so, no Christian really needs to be taught how to be led by the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit is already leading every Christian. On the other hand, Satan is trying to mislead God’s children, and we still have the old nature of the flesh within us that leads us contrary to God’s will. So believers do need to learn to discern the Spirit’s leading from those other leadings. That is a process on the road to maturity. But the foundational fact that is this: The Spirit will always lead us in line with God’s written Word, and He will always lead us to do what is right and pleasing to God, what will bring Him glory (see John 16:14).

Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit by inward impressions. For example, Marl’s Gospel describes what happened directly after Jesus was baptized in the Holy Spirit following His baptism by John:

And immediately the Spirit impelled Him to go out into the wilderness” (Mark 1:12, emphasis added).

Jesus didn’t hear an audible voice or see a vision that led Him into the wilderness—He was simply impelled to go. That is how the Holy Spirit normally leads us. We will sense a drawing, a leading, a conviction, within us to do a certain thing.

When Jesus told the paralyzed man who had been lowered through the roof that his sins were forgiven, Jesus knew that the scribes who were present thought He was blaspheming. How did He know what they were thinking? We read in Mark’s gospel:

And immediately Jesus, perceiving in His spirit that they were reasoning that way within themselves, said to them, “Why are you reasoning about these things in your hearts?” (Mark 2:8, emphasis added).

Jesus perceived in His spirit what they were thinking. If we will be sensitive to our spirits, we too can know how to answer those who oppose the work of God.

Christian parents must realize they have a responsibility to train their children, just as we read in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (emphasis added).

Training involves not only punishment for disobedience but reward for good behavior. Children need to be consistently praised by their parents to reinforce their good behavior and desirable traits. Children need to be reassured often that they are loved, accepted and appreciated by their parents. Parents can convey their love by praises, hugs and kisses, and through the time they spend with their children.

To “train” means to “make to obey.” Christian parents, therefore, should not give their children the option of whether or not they will attend church or pray every day and so on. Children are not responsible enough to know what is best for them—that is why God gave them parents. To the parents who invest the effort and energy to see that their children are properly trained, God promises that their children will not depart from going the right way when they are older, as we read in Proverbs 22:6.

Children should also be given increasing responsibilities as they grow older. The goal of effective parenting is to gradually prepare the child for the full responsibilities of adulthood. As the child grows older, he should be given more and more freedom to make his own decisions. In addition, the teenager should understand that he will accept responsibility for the consequences of his decisions and that his parents will not always be there to “bail him out” of trouble.

Perhaps the most common error made by Christian leaders is that of neglecting their marriages and families due to devotion to their ministries. They justify themselves by saying that their sacrifice is “for the Lord’s work.”

This error is remedied when the disciple-making minister realizes that his true obedience and devotion to God is reflected by his relationships with his spouse and children. A minister cannot claim to be devoted to God if he does not love his wife like Christ loves the church, or if he neglects to spend the time necessary with his children to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Moreover, neglecting one’s spouse and children for the sake of “the ministry” is usually a sure sign of fleshly ministry that is being done in the power of one’s own strength. Many institutional pastors who carry heavy work burdens exemplify this, as they exhaust themselves in order to keep all the church programs running.

Jesus promised that His burden is light and His yoke is easy (see Matt. 11:30). He is not calling any minister to show his devotion for the world or the church at the expense of loving his family. In fact, a requirement for an elder is that he “must be one who manages his own household well” (1 Tim. 3:4). His relationship with his family is a test of his fitness for ministry.

Those who are called to traveling ministries and who must be away at times should spend extra time focused on their families when they are home. Fellow-members of the body of Christ should do what is within their power to make such an arrangement possible. The disciple-making minister realizes that his own children are his primary disciples. If he fails at that task, he has no right to attempt to make disciples outside of his home.

God has designed that the Christian family conform to a certain structure. Because this framework provides the stability for family life, Satan works hard to pervert God’s intended design.

First, God has ordained that the husband be the head of the family unit. This does not give the husband the right to selfishly dominate his wife and children. God has called husbands to love, protect, provide for, and lead their families as the head. God also intended that wives to be submissive to the leadership of their husbands. This is clear from Scripture:

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything (Eph. 5:22-24).

The husband is not the spiritual head of his wife—Jesus is the one who fulfils that role. Jesus is the spiritual head of the church, and the Christian wife is just as much a member of the church as her Christian husband is. In the family, however, the Christian husband is the head of his wife and children, and they should be submitted to his God-given authority.

To what degree should the wife submit to her husband? She should submit to him in everything, just as Paul said. The only exception to that rule would be if her husband unless expects her to disobey the Word of God or to do something that violates her conscience. Of course, no Christian husband would ever expect his wife to do anything to violate God’s word or her conscience. The husband is not his wife’s lord—only Jesus has that place in her life. If she must choose whom to obey, she should choose Jesus.

Husbands should remember that God is not necessarily always “on the husband’s side.” God once told Abraham to do what his wife Sarah told him (see Gen. 21:10-12). Scripture also records that Abigail disobeyed her foolish husband Nabal and averted a catastrophe (see 1 Sam. 25:2-38).

1). Don’t exasperate your children (see Eph. 6:4). Children can’t be expected to act like adults. If you expect too much from them, they’ll quit trying to please you, knowing it’s impossible.

2). Don’t compare your children with other children. Let them know how much you appreciate about their unique qualities and gifts from God.

3). Give them responsibilities around your home so they will know they are an important part of the family unit. Accomplishments are the building blocks of healthy self-esteem.

4). Spend time with your children. That lets them know they are important to you. Giving them material things is no substitute for giving them yourself. Furthermore, children are influenced the most by those who spend the most time with them.

5). If you must say something negative, try to say it in a positive way. I never told my children they were “bad” when they disobeyed me. Instead, I’d say to my son, “You’re a good boy, and good boys don’t do what you just did!” (Then I’d spank him).

6). Realize the word “no” means “I care about you.” When children always get their way, they intuitively know you don’t care enough to ever restrict them.

7). Expect your children to imitate you. Children learn from the example of their parents. The wise parent will never say to his child, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

8). Don’t bail your children out of all their problems. Only remove stumbling-stones; let stepping stones remain on their path.

9). Serve God with all of your heart. I’ve noticed that children of parents who are spiritually lukewarm rarely continue to serve God in their adulthood. Christian children of unsaved parents and children of fully-committed Christian parents normally continue to serve God once “out of the nest.”

10). Teach your children the Word of God. Parents often prioritize the education of their children but fail to give them the most important education they could get, an education in the Bible.

God, of course, is the one who came up with the idea of families. It stands to reason, then, that He could offer us insight into how the families should function and can warn us of those pitfalls that destroy families. Indeed, the Lord has given us many principles in His Word regarding the structure of the family and the role that each individual member should perform. When these biblical instructions are followed, families will experience all the blessings God intended for them to enjoy. When they are violated, havoc and heartache are the result.

As we read in Ephesians 6:4, fathers are not only responsible to discipline their children but also expected to instruct them in the Lord. It is not the church’s responsibility to give the child instruction in biblical morality, Christian character, or theology—it is the father’s job. The parents who relegate all the responsibility to the Sunday School teacher to teach their children about God are making a very serious error. God commanded Israel through Moses:

And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up (Deut. 6:6-7, emphasis added).

Christian parents should introduce their children, from an early age, to God, telling them who He is and how much He loves them. Young children should be taught the story of Jesus’ birth, life, death, and resurrection. Many children can understand the gospel message by age five or six and can make a decision to serve the Lord. Soon after (by age six or seven, and sometimes even younger), they can receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Of course, no ironclad rules can be laid down because every child is different. The point is that Christian parents should make the spiritual training of their children their highest earthly priority.